Positive Addictions

By Bob Cox

After reading the title of this article, did you think to yourself, “that’s impossible because all addiction is negative and bad for you”? You would be right, but only if you look at addiction through a conventional pair of eyes. Dictionary.com defines addiction as: The state of being enslaved to a habit or practice or to something that is psychologically or physically habit-forming, as narcotics, to such an extent that its cessation causes severe trauma.

We can all agree that no rational thinking healthy person would ever say, “Yes, I want to give up all my freedom to make healthy choices and become enslaved and controlled by something outside of myself that will ultimately damage the quality of my life as well as the lives of all the people that care about me”.

When people are trapped in the shackles of an addiction to a mind altering substance, a common pattern will emerge: A painful event will trigger an involuntary reaction to reach for the favorite comforting substance that will numb the pain immediately. Within that split second between stimulus and response is where every battle between freedom and enslavement takes place. The faster and more often you react without a conscious thought process, the more enslaved you become to the habit.

When my friend and client Janina Guarino, the founder of Better Decisions Counseling Services introduced me to the concept of replacing a negative addiction with a positive addiction, I knew she wasn’t an advocate of becoming enslaved by a new and healthier choice, but to actually be set free of the negative addiction by achieving a higher level of consciousness during that tiny gap between stimulus and response, and while in that space making a better decision. I understood what she meant immediately because that’s something I’ve done since my childhood.

From the time I was a little kid, I watched how some family members in our house turned to alcohol and drugs to relieve emotional pain and how those substances consistently made our home environment a living hell. The question was never “Will mom be drinking tonight but how drunk will she get and how long and loud will she rave into the darkness?” At that time, I had no idea how to solve my own painful feelings but I did learn that drugs and alcohol were not the answers.

As I became a young adult, whenever I chose to drink, I was extremely cautious about doing it only when I wanted to enhance a positive feeling. Whenever I wanted to escape a negative repetitive thought, I refused to allow myself to drink and react just like mom. Instead, whenever I felt overly stressed out, I would engage in a variety of adrenaline draining activities, like going for a brisk run around the neighborhood or lifting weights in our garage. Even though those activities didn’t completely erase my negative thoughts and feelings, they consistently made them a lot more manageable.

If you or someone you love is being strangled by the chains of addiction, find out what they love to do physically and suggest that they replace their negative addiction with a positive one. Some great ideas include gardening, yard work, a walk in nature or an enjoyable sports activity. The best time to make that suggestion is while your loved one is calm and sober. If; however, just the mere mention of their addiction triggers a knee jerk response for them to reach for their favorite mind altering substance, you may be in over your head. If they’re that unstable, you will likely need to contact an experienced professional like Janina. People like Janina are invaluable to have on your team because she knows firsthand the struggles of negative addiction and most importantly, how to break free from them and live with greater peace, joy and love.