A Passion for Compassion

By Bob Cox

While we were growing up in the mean streets of suburbia during the peace, love, dope era of the 1960’s, my three older sisters and I looked forward celebrating the 4^th of July while enjoying at least two great shows: lighting off loud and flashy fireworks and then chuckling at Dad as he ducked for cover after each thunderous boom.

Looking back, Dad was a pretty good sport about it all. I suppose he could've gotten really angry with us for our blatant lack of respect and insensitivity for the severe trauma he endured during years of combat in the Pacific during WWII, but more than anything, Dad enjoyed laughing at everything in this crazy and dysfunctional world, especially himself. What a great gift he gave to us, the insight to laugh at ourselves

Unfortunately, not everyone has the same light hearted experience when dealing with a substantial trauma in their lives. How many millions of Americans suffer silently from an unresolved trauma and feel paralyzed when trying to break free from the past? If you’re not in this boat, chances are good you know someone that is. Does it seem like no matter how hard they try to patch up all the leaks, a new one opens up? If that’s the case, they could be victims of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD).

Victims of PTSD are not limited to combat solders like my dad. Literally anyone that’s on the north side of dirt can be hit by a traumatic event and have a difficult time recovering. Just last week, my 21 year old Grandson Zack was stuck while on his motorcycle by a man who ran a red light while driving with a suspended license. For the past 11 days, Zack has been fighting for his life while he tries to regain consciousness from a medically induced coma. He was struck with such force, his helmet flew off and a nurse who happened to be at the scene rolled him on his side, which prevented him from choking to death. The doctors said it would take at least 6 months for Zack to be able to walk again.

I believe that the key to helping others that have suffered a traumatic event that they cannot move past begins with genuine empathy and compassion. Compassion is defined as an emotion that one feels in response to the suffering of others that motivates a desire to help. If you know someone that’s been impacted by a severe trauma and they are not able to laugh it off, resist the temptation to judge them by advising them to just get over it. Take a few precious moments from your life and really listen to them. You never know if your act of compassion may be the catalyst that kick starts the miracles of healing.

If your spirit moves you to do so, any positive thoughts, feelings and prayers for Zack's recovery will greatly appreciated by everyone in our family. Thank you and bless you for being a part of our Go For It family.

Helping Victims of PTSD

By Bob Cox

Was I the only one that used to think that Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) only affects combat soldiers? I've just recently learned that PTSD is a condition that impacts people in all walks of life. Severe trauma can literally be experienced by anyone at anytime.

PTSD is a serious and potentially debilitating condition that is characterized by three main types of symptoms: 1. Re-experiencing the traumatic event through flashbacks or nightmares. 2. Emotional numbness and avoidance of people, places and activities that are reminders of the trauma and 3. Increased arousal, difficulty sleeping, poor concentration and being easily angered.

If you've ever experienced any kind of traumatic event, you may have PTSD. People that work in high stress occupations where trauma is commonplace (police officers, firefighters, doctors, nurses, E.M.T.’s etc.), are more prone to experiencing PTSD; however, everyone has the potential to being exposed. According to a recent study, the most common traumatic events that caused women to develop PTSD were childhood physical abuse (48.5%), being raped (45.9%), being threatened with a weapon (32.6%), sexual molestation (26.5%), being physically attacked (21.3%) and childhood neglect (19.7%). For men, the traumatic events leading to PTSD were being raped (65.0%), combat (38.8%), childhood neglect (23.9%), childhood physical abuse (22.3%) and being sexually molested (12.2%).

I recently spoke to Janina Guarino, the founder of Better Decisions Counseling Services to learn more about the services they’re providing here in Sacramento to help victims that suffer from PTSD.

Q: What are some of the most common experiences you've had helping victims of PTSD?

A: PTSD affects many people and some aren’t even aware that they have the condition. The most common problems people experience includes anxiety, depression, seeing objects, hearing voices, clostrophobia and a variety of unexplained fears. Oftentimes, they don’t understand why they’re feeling overwhelmed.

Q: Better Decisions Counseling Services is known for helping those with negative addictions. How does helping victims of PTSD fit into your umbrella of services?

A: Whenever we’re assessing someone for an addiction, we use a very detailed questionaire. Oftentimes, the causes of addiction can be traced back to one or more traumatic events. By asking our clients if they've had the symptoms of PTSD, like nightmares or sleeping problems, we’re able to get to the true source of the problem.

Q: So, are you actually uncovering the roots of the trauma that caused the addiction?

A: Yes and domestic violence is a significant contributor to PTSD. We offer co-parenting classes and family counseling that helps the families that don’t have the tools to resolve their differences peacefully.

Q: Does it usually take several counseling sessions before you discover a tragic event that has caused PTSD?

A: Yes. We are building relationships with people so that they can feel safe to discuss issues that they haven’t been able to talk about in the past.

Q: You mentioned that you've had great results helping one client in particular that has suffered for years from PTSD. Can you share that story with us?

A: Yes, one of our client’s was seeking help for anger issues at a local V. A. hospital and was advised not to come back unless he had a security escort. We chose to help him in counseling sessions and worked on his anger issues. He has grown tremendously and he continues to make an effort to create healthier relationships with his friends, his family and his past.

Q: Better Decisions will be hosting The 2nd Annual PTSD Fundraiser to help as many people as possible who suffer from this affliction. What’s do you have planned at this worthwhile event?

A: We want to build awareness of PTSD by offering our services to everyone in need, especially to people that may not be able to afford our services. Last year we helped a lot of people in our community.

Q: What kinds of activities and events do you have planned?

A: We’re doing a chili cook off, a prize giveaway and face painting for kids. We will have several sponsors at the event and they will be offering a variety of valuable products and services. Last year, we gave away a big screen TV and several gift cards!

Editors Notes: The 2^nd Annual PTSD Fundraiser event take place on Saturday, November 15, 2014 from 10 am to 3 pm. at Better Decisions Counseling Services, which is located at 10633 Rockingham Road in Sacramento.     

Fall and Winter Before it's too late

Preventative Maintenance  Car Maintenance Tips

By Dave Trux

With autumn upon us and winter just around the corner, now is the time to bring your vehicle in to your trusted mechanic to check over all the basics before you embark on your next great adventure. The last thing you need is to get stranded on a desolate mountain road, where the weather can change faster than an Indy 500 pit crew changes tires.

A good place to start is your windshield. Wiper blades will often become warn and brittle from months of exposure during the long and sunny days of summer. For that reason, we stock wiper blades all year long for all the cars we service.

Be sure to have all your fluids, belts and hoses examined as well. Along with the standard coolant flush, we urge you to have your brake fluid flushed every other year. Most manufacturers recommend brake fluid flushes every two years. Why? Because, in technical terms, brake fluid is hydroscopic and it’s water loving. As brake fluid takes on water, it’s efficiency decreases exponentially, which is why a flush is strongly recommended.

Last but not least, make sure your mechanic checks your battery, tests the air pressure while also rotating your tires before you take your next road trip. Batteries will lose cranking power in extreme cold weather and your tires pressure will also drop under those conditions. Wherever the road takes you, we at Valley Motorwerks wish you a safe trip and a Happy Thanksgiving!  

Dental Implants Superior Technology for a Superior Lifestyle

By Dr. Andrade & Dr. Montalvo

Implants have changed the way many dentists replace teeth. Patients who don’t want to wear a denture now have the option to have something permanent. No longer do patients have to limit their diets to soft foods or worry about having pain when eating something crunchy or hard.

What’s made implants even easier and faster to place is the use of an implant guide. This device makes it possible for dentists and surgeons to plan the position of the implant on a computer. Using cone beam (3D xray) and implant software technology, a device is made that will direct the placement of the implant to the exact location and bite to each patient’s specifications.

This implant guide is based on the anatomy and bite of each specific patient. This has significantly reduced the risk of trauma, pain and time needed for the procedure. This implant guide takes all the guesswork and unknowns out of the procedure. If you've been waiting for an easier and faster way to have an implant placed, now you have it. For a limited time, you’ll have the best for free!

Line-X of Rancho Cordova

Spray on Bedliners & So Much More

By Bob Cox

When I paid a visit to Tyrone Miller, the new owner of Line-X in Rancho Cordova, I asked him what’s been the greatest challenge or surprise since he took over the reins. I was shocked when he answered “Keeping up with all the new business!”

After enduring all the lean years created by the Great Recession, I've grown accustomed to hearing business owners lament over not having enough customers to keep up with the bills. It’s thoroughly refreshing to hear from more entrepreneuers that are happily complaining about being overwhelmed by too much business.

In just three short months, Tyrone has managed to triple his business! He’s attributed his rapid growth to staying in his showroom longer and greeting people as soon as they come through the door. He’s also made the commitment to answer the phone as soon as it rings and respond to online inquiries promptly.

Tyrone also credits his background in sales for his rapid ascent. “I've been in the sales and service industry since even before high school. I spent the next 12 years following college in the industry in the mid-west, where customer service is quite different. Back there, everybody is treated like family and that’s what we’re doing here. I've spent over a decade in the aftermarket industry, the past four years in outside sales for a wholesale distributor of aftermarket truck and jeep accessories.

Q: What factors led you to purchase a Line-X franchise?

A: I've spent over a decade in the aftermarket industry in outside sales for a wholesale distributor of aftermarket truck and jeep accessories. The previous owner of Line-X in Rancho Cordova was one of my customers. He was ready to retire and my family and I were ready to buy a franchise. The Rancho Cordova franchise had the same outstanding spray technician (David) for over 12 years and that was very important to me. I've helped my clients grow their businesses for many years, so I wanted to settle down, stay close to home rather than travelling all over Northern California. I like this community and wanted to practice what I've been preaching by growing my own business and serving my customers.

Q: What changes and improvements have you made so far?

A: We've recently remodeling the whole showroom and look forward to offering even better service and more products. We also just got certified to spray color match Line-X.

Q: Have you found that your background has helped you become a better Line-X dealer?

A: Yes. I know where to find the products my customers need and get them at the right price.

Q: What was it about Line-X that stood out above the rest of all the aftermarket truck companies?

A: Well, it was a great opportunity. I was able to take over something that’s been very successful for 12 years. As far as the Line-X brand, it’s just the best in the industry. Most of my competitors offer generic brands, so I see a difference in the quality of other products. Also, the versatility of the product is greater with Line-X. Our protective coatings can be applied to just about anything. We have a huge selection of truck accessories. We offer a nationwide support system to back our lifetime warranty. With over 300 locations nationwide and 500 locations worldwide, we've made it easier for our customers to find a dealer nearby to honor every warranty. We also have lifetime guarantees on all Truck Gear by Line-X truck accessories.

Q: Did you do any research before becoming a Line-X franchisee?

A: Yes, in the last year, I asked all my customers that owned Line-X franchises if they would choose Line-X again and they all said “absolutely”! I asked them, “You mean, you have no regrets about owning a franchise? They told me, no, it’s the best thing you can ever do”. The Line-X brand has the industry’s highest standards and that appealed to me.

Q: Is the Line-X brand a superior quality product?

A: Absolutely. I’m drawn to products that have high quality.

Q: What’s new and hot at Line-X?

A: We have the versality of color now in either standard or premium applications. Our Premium product offers a UV protectant that prevents fading. We now offer color matching and no one else in the industry is doing this.

Q: Line-X is primarily known for spray on bedliners. What other products and services do you offer?

A: We have a huge selection of accessories, like Weathertech floor liners, BAK Industries tonneau covers, tool boxes, lumber racks, nerf bars and just about any kind of protection for your truck, van or trailer. We also spray boat decks and interiors. We've done a lot of work on the inside and outside of trailers and vans.

Q: Are you accepting more fleet accounts?

A: Yes, and we offer volume discounts and fast turnaround!

The Doors of Dysfunction

By Bob Cox

As I was getting ready for work the other day, my wife Diana was watching a recorded episode of the Dr. Phil show titled “Meddling Moms”. It looked interesting, so I prepared yet another tasty mint chocolate chip shake and plopped myself down in the recliner next to her.

Audrey, the daughter of a “meddling mom”, kicked off the show by explaining how her mother Mary had created an unbearable amount of stress in her life. She said her mom was rude, manipulative and tried to destroy her marriage. She claimed that her mom called her up to 10 times a day, told her how to raise her kids and belittled her husband, Matt. Matt went on to describe his mother in-law: "Mary meddles by telling us how to raise the kids, telling us what kind of a schedule they should be on, what kind of clothes they should wear, what we should be doing with them".

Her mother, Mary defended her decisions by claiming she was acting on behalf of her grandchildren who were being subjected to a filthy and abusive environment. "Audrey is a spoiled brat. Audrey does not clean her house, do dishes, wash the floor, do laundry," claimed Mary.

After hearing both sides, the majority of the audience (including Diana and I) had empathized with the daughter. While the daughter and her husband were clearly no angels, it was obvious that the mother appeared to be the primary instigator of the dysfunctional mess by imposing her views on her daughter’s entire family.

And then my perception changed the instant Audrey confessed that she would often reach out to her mother for help, especially when her family needed money to pay bills. That’s when I realized that the doors of their dysfunctional relationship swung both ways. The same person who complained about her meddling mom was the same person that invited her mother over and over into the chaos! I thought to myself, “How can anyone be so unaware and oblivious to how their unhealthy choices would create such a nightmare? Why can’t the daughter see how she is completely responsible for sabotaging her family’s peace by reaching out to such a controlling and unstable person for help?”

Just when I was starting to feel pretty good about myself, my stupid memory had to kick in and shatter my delusion of superiority as I realized that I did the same thing when I was a young adult! Whenever I made a bad decision that created a financial hardship, I would turn to the two people I knew would be there to bail me out…good old mom and dad! Sure, I had to endure a never ending monotonous lecture about how irresponsible I was, how I was inconveniencing them and blah, blah and oh yeah, more blah.

As I look back on the “Bad Old Days”, it’s easy to see that I was the total cause of all the friction between my parents and myself. Once I finally took charge of my life, became completely self sufficient and stopped asking my parents to enable me, our relationship mended over time. By choosing to accept and deal with all the consequences of my actions, good or bad, my self confidence grew and the madness ended immediately.

If you’re having trouble in either a personal or professional relationship and feel like the swinging doors of dysfunction keep slapping you in the face, install a deadbolt immediately! How? By taking the time to reflect back on those negative interactions and accept responsibility for the things you've done to contribute to the toxic environment. As long as you live with the illusion that it’s all the other guy’s fault, the cycle of misery will spin on for eternity. Finally, resolve to not settle for anything less than a future relationship that’s based on mutual respect, compassion and empathy. Most rational thinking people will be delighted by your willingness to initiate a positive change. On the other hand; if the other party refuses to accept those terms, resist the temptation to argue or try to force them to be reasonable. Accept their decision peacefully and lock the deadbolt tight behind them!