The Golden Angel

By Bob Cox

During my childhood and as a young adult, I wasted a lot of time and energy taking on every battle that came my way. Either I would confront the ‘wrongdoer’ that disrespected me by directly confronting them or indirectly confronting them by coming up with clever things I could have said or done long after the deed was done. As terrible as a given event might have been, the incessant thoughts of ‘What I could have done’ plagued me like a scratch that makes a record album skip. The after-effects of my chronic obsessions were usually ten times worse than the actual incident! As I've grown older, I've learned the value of serenity and choosing my battles carefully while at the same time being more considerate, thoughtful and courteous to others so I don’t inadvertently start a battle that everyone loses!

If you truly want to make a positive difference in the world, the fine art of choosing your battles wisely is an important lesson to practice. Why, because we are all born with a limited amount of time, energy and resources. If you really want to affect a positive change in the world, choose something you’re passionate about and then go for it. On the other hand, as powerful as this practice can be, there is an even greater lesson a rare few will learn. That is when the battle chooses you.

Last month, the public was inundated with news about the tragic shooting death of Wendy Hall-Onkle, the founder of Alex Onkle Financial Support Foundation. When her sister Shauna received the news, she was devastated and heartbroken. Shauna and Wendy were extremely close and their bond was unbreakable. The love they felt for one another was enduring and unconditional. Shauna wondered to herself and aloud why such a senseless tragedy occurred. Then one day, while walking along the beach, a miracle happened…she got her answer.

“Ever since my sister Wendy was murdered, I had been in a very dark spot and differing ranges of emotions poured through my being. I wasn't able to get a really good grasp on things and was barely making it. Day to day, just getting out was a difficult struggle and last week, after another workday, I decided that I needed to get a little exercise. I had been immobile for a few weeks, which isn't my normal behavior. Generally, I work out every day but I hadn't been doing the things to take care of myself like normal. I told my son Zack I was going to take a walk along the beach because I just wanted to get some clarity and Wendy was definitely heavy on my mind as the sadness was pouring through me.

As I was walking, the sky was blue above the ocean. When I got to the corner of the walkway, I smelled a distinct and heavy fragrance of jasmine and rosemary. As I turned around the corner, it was like I walked into another world as there was gold everywhere. The sky was gold, the water was gold; everything was gold. Even the window panes on people’s houses were reflecting gold. As I walked up towards the beach, I noticed it was just breathtaking – there were beams of light everywhere. I got this feeling as I was approaching it that I was literally being pulled towards it and felt my sister’s presence. At one point, I felt her son’s (Alex-who passed away) presence. All the sadness that I was carrying, which was a lot, had subsided and I had a great feeling of peace, happiness and complete contentment.

People were standing around everywhere, taking pictures and talking about the heart-shaped opening in the clouds. I saw a great big beam of light pouring through the clouds like in the movie The Lion King and it was reflecting off the ocean and it was in the distinct shape of a heart. It was then that I realized that this was a gift from my sister. Shortly before she died, she had posted a picture on Facebook where there were two tire tracks right in front of her car and they made the shape of two hearts intertwined. She had made a comment that the two hearts was a sign from her son that it was their hearts and they would be together soon. That was a message that Wendy knew that I would recognize because I saw the tire tracks picture again and again all over Facebook the day she died. In that moment, I felt a complete sense of healing, peacefulness and hope. I no longer felt like she was leaving me alone in this world to deal with things.

As I looked up, I noticed that people were smiling at me. One couple asked me to take their picture and after I did, the gal asked me if I knew what the sunset was for. I said yeah, I think I do know. She asked me if somebody had died recently and I said yes, my sister was murdered. She said, yeah I know, I’m sorry for your loss and she smiled at me with a really kind heart. I handed her camera back and she told me to have a good day.

As I started to walk back, I felt this sense of sadness because my back was towards the sun and I started to cry and said please don’t leave me. Within a few seconds, I felt the presence of Wendy and Alex walking with me as if they were holding my hands. As the sun began to set, the sky color changed from red to light purple, which is the same exact color of her logo ribbon for the cancer awareness (DSRCT). The feeling that if I walked away from that sunset that I had to say goodbye had left me because I realized that this wasn't goodbye. It was like she was saying I’ll be right here and I'll see you in a few years.

When I came home, I felt completely lifted from all the anger, pain and hatred that I had in my heart and I realized that I had to do something about the situation that these parents are in with their children. It became apparent to me that life is about helping and healing other people and Wendy figured that out before she died. Ever since that day, there have been amazingly beautiful sunsets and I’m feeling more positive and productive every day.

The Alex Onkle Financial Support Foundation was founded by Wendy Hall-Onkle (a.k.a. the Golden Angel) to help financially support families affected with childhood cancer. Wendy and Alex chose a red and purple ribbon for the logo with gold letters, the same colors that Shauna witnessed that magical evening. While Alex was here, one of his dying wishes was to start a foundation for the parents of children who have cancer, so that parents could stay home with their kids when they were dying. All he wanted was his mom and dad there as he went on to the next place. He had told Wendy a day or two before he died that God had came to him while he was asleep and told him that He was waiting for him and he told his mom that he would have to go soon.

According to Shauna, Alex was a very old soul and full of life. Everyone who spent 5 minutes with him would be inspired. He was labeled Alex the Superhero because in the midst of unimaginable pain, he reached out to others and gave back. When Alex was just 4 years old, he was diagnosed with a rare aggressive cancer in July 2010 called Desmoplastic Small Round Cell Tumor (DSRCT). After several excruciating months of radiation and chemotherapy, Alex made the active decision to stop the treatments because he wanted better quality for the rest of his life. Wendy lost her son Alex on April 20, 2013 after a 33 month fight at the age of 7.

The battle has chosen Shauna and her family and friends could not be any prouder. Wisdom, courage and an inspired conviction will help her pick up where Wendy left off. According to Shauna, “Wendy’s strength after Alex passed on has inspired hundreds of people and my hope is that she is able, through me and others to inspire thousands of people. That’s what my goal is, to inspire thousands of people to care for and protect the people that cannot protect themselves.”

If you would like to know more about the Alex Onkle Financial Support Foundation, look them up at https://www.facebook.com/AlexOnkleFinancialSupportFoundation/posts/522539491169001

Why do Dentists use Botox? Ask Dr. Denisse

By Bob Cox

Why would a dentist do Botox?

Botox is not only used to reduce lines and wrinkles. It is the first and only medication used to prevent headaches and treat TMJ. One out of every 4 patients we see has TMJ problems. Most patients with TMJ grind their teeth at night subconsciously while they are sleeping and even more clench their teeth throughout the day. Heavy grinding and clenching effects the TMJ and causes muscle pain and aching around the face and head. Before Botox, the only treatment to help TMJ and muscle pain were splints and night-guards. If the pain worsened, the next option was surgery. But now with Botox, the muscles of the face can be treated in a quick appointment. The results I've seen are miraculous and have improved my patient’s quality of life. They are not waking up with headaches, not feeling tight around the face and are feeling relaxed and relieved.  

Q &A with Jusus (Chewy) Chavez

By Bob Cox

Q: Can you tell us a little bit about your restaurant and what makes it so special?

A: Our food is fresh, just like homemade. When you come in to Chewy’s, we’re going to treat you with respect and do everything possible to make a nice dining experience. I just want people to know that we’re here and we would appreciate their business.

Q: Your vision is to serve great tasting Mexican and American food. How did you come up with this idea?

A: Since I’ve been in the food industry for a long time running cafeterias, deep inside I wanted to be open to the public and at the same time I wanted to be different from everybody else. When I came up with the idea of offering both American and Mexican food, I wanted my customers to have more options.

Q: Speaking of options, do you offer your customers healthy dining choices?

A: Yes! We have healthy food options. We also have traditional dining options, so everyone will be satisfied. If you look at our breakfast menu, you can substitute potatoes for healthier options like tomatoes and cottage cheese. We also have gluten free bread. For people who are watching their cholesterol, we serve egg whites.

Q: Do you charge extra for healthy options?

A: No. Every item can be substituted at no extra cost, except our gluten free bread which is 50 cents more.

Q: Do you offer healthy options on the Mexican food menu?

A: Yes, with our burritos, people can substitute flour tortillas with whole wheat tortillas. As for the ingredients, you can choose refried beans, pinto beans or black beans. We have Spanish rice, brown rice and house rice, which is my own recipe and people like it very much!

Q: I love your barbeque bacon cheeseburgers! What’s your secret to making such tasty hamburgers?

A: We use real Angus beef, our ingredients are all fresh and our buns are baked locally every day.

Chewy: As far as the sandwiches and hamburgers I offer my customers the option to choose whole wheat hamburger buns. When people walk into the restaurant the first thing they will see is the tortilla press and if they want a burrito, as soon they come up to the register we make the tortilla fresh. It’s something that you have really never seen before so it’s pretty cool (not sure if you want to add this part as Chipotle does the same thing and Freebirds World Burrito… there other things that make the restaurant unique but not this). This is what I offer to my customers.

GFI: And you have a really clean restaurant. You have remodeled and it’s beautiful in here. It’s very comfortable too. I am a booth guy, so it’s nice to have booths to be able to sit down and eat.

Chewy: Like I told you before, I just wanted to do something different. Getting a nice and clean place for my customers… so far I have been getting many compliments.

GFI: Now you mentioned that your nickname is Chewy so obviously that’s where your restaurant name came in. When did you get that nickname and how long ago was that?

A: Well the nickname is something I was born with. I’m known as Chewy down in Mexico and over here too. I called the restaurant after my nickname because to me it was kind of funny because down in Mexico we would write my name different than here so how my name was spelled in English I kind of like and thought it was catchy.

GFI: So when you were little somebody nicknamed you Chewy? Was it your parents?

A: Most of the people in Mexico with the name Jesus have that nickname. Why? I don’t even know. That is how I got my name though.

GFI: Tell me about your experience coming to America. How old were you and what was going on in your life?

A: When I came to this country I was 23 years old and I just graduated from a university down in Mexico. The way things are in Mexico is so different than here because down there you need money to get good jobs and since I come from a very poor family it was very hard for me to find a good job. I never thought that I was going to come here to be honest with you, but I did with the idea that coming to this country no matter what I was going to succeed. It was hard, but with God on my side, being persistent, and knowing what I wanted in life helped make things easier. It was just hard work and determination and over the years I was able to accomplish the goals that I was committed to accomplish… and here I am. To me, as a person and human being, the most important thing in life is my family, my kids, my wife, and all I want to do is build them up, set them up, guide them, and have them be good and independent people in life. So far, it’s been working. I have 4 beautiful kids and they are studying to go to school. One of my girls is going to Sac St. and the other kids are going to High School. My family and business are my life. I told you before that I’m working with (Sutter community hospital? Can’t understand) running one of the multiple traffic areas. I’m working on their premises, using their equipment, the only thing I do is run the whole operation on their premises and so far it’s been great because I’ve working especially with this company SVS (Sutter Physician Services) it’s a sister company of Sutter Health. I have been working with them for over 9 years and I cater for them, and not just for them but all people who need my services. I did work for Campbell’s soup for 8 years. Over the years I have been able to establish good business relationships with these companies which are great and I have nothing but good things to say about them.

GFI: I really admire your courage and your drive because you came to this country without an understanding of the language or knowing a single person over here. You took that leap of faith and you went for it.

Chewy: And I am not taking all the credit. God is with me and if it wasn’t for him I wouldn’t be where I am today.

GFI: When you came here to United States you were in the restaurant business from the very beginning right? You started as a dishwasher.

A: Yea and it was funny because when I came to this country I didn’t know anything about this life but for some reason I was able to get a job at this place down by Arden Way and Howe Avenue called Huey’s Diner. I started off doing dishes and don’t get me wrong a job’s a job, but I thought I deserved better so what I did was do dishes at night and then get up early in the morning to go to school for ESL and over the years I was able to learn the language. I still have a strong accent but the main thing is to be able to communicate with people and I am able to do it. So I went to school and then from that point I was able to get up to the position of assistant manager in a one and half year period of time. It was because I knew what I wanted. It wasn’t easy, but knowing what you want is the most important thing in life I think.

GFI: Well you definitely have that passion, spark, and what it takes to be successful in life.

Chewy: To be honest with you (I wanted to do this?) to give back to my family. Back then I wasn’t married yet. I was a single guy, but I knew that my mom and my dad gave back a lot to make me into the person that I am today and I really owe it to them so I just really wanted to do something for them. Over the years I have been able to help out.

GFI: Do you get to go to Mexico and see them?

A: My mom died a couple of years ago but every Sunday I call my family out there – my dad, my brother and sister – how are you? How are you doing? I just want to get in touch with them and I don’t get to this over the phone (wants to see them?) but talking to them makes me feel really good. I have been here for a little over 23 years and I haven’t missed any Sunday’s talking to my family. I would see them, but I am a very busy person so I only get to see them maybe 2 or 3 days or a week at the longest. It’s the price you pay when you have a business to run and a family to take care of. It’s my story – I’m a simple guy who just wanted to do good. Also, let me add that I am so grateful to this country. I think this country is the land of opportunities because in Mexico so many things are out of reach. This country has given me too much. I am very grateful and just happy to be here living this life with my family.

GFI: Well I’m glad you’re here too. In a weird sort of way it’s a good thing everything worked out the way that it did because it gave us an opportunity to meet and I think your story is going to inspire a lot of our readers. I think they are going to look at their own lives and say my goodness this man came here without knowing a single person and leaving everything he knew behind to go after his dream… What’s stopping me? It puts everything in perspective.

Chewy: I think the only thing really stopping people is themselves because to me there are no limits to what I can do. That is just what I think personally. If you want something you can get it. I tell my kids anything that what the mind can believe it can achieve.

GFI: And you traded that off though – you definitely paid a price. You left everything behind to start a new life here, worked extremely hard, were extremely focused, and like with everything when you achieve something you have to give something up. You gave up a lot to receive a lot and you have given a lot.

Chewy: And to me it’s knowing that if you give you will receive. Just the fact that I’m able to give to whoever makes me feel good. I am here in this world for a reason and living this life is worth it. Giving is a joy. Receiving, I don’t even think about it. It doesn’t necessarily have to be money – it could be time, love – intangible things that you don’t see that at the end are the things that are worth the most. When I was growing up I was very insecure and I had a lot of fear. Why? I don’t know, but I realized I was very insecure and I have a lot of fear in my soul and I didn’t want to be that person. I knew deep inside there was the Chewy getting ready to be set free and I worked a lot on setting myself free. I taught myself reading a lot of books and good stories to motivate me and be the person I wanted to be. Being persistent I was able to do that. The Chewy you see today is the Chewy that wanted to come out and live this wonderful life.

GFI: Is there anything you wanted to add?

A: Basically just to tell people around this area to come to the restaurant and try the food. They won’t be disappointed. It’s a new concept – it’s different.

GFI: And I can tell you Mic (microphone), this food is awesome!

Chewy: I started giving my customers the best service they can get. Customer service (somehow is kind of missing out there?). People especially in these times – not people in general, most of them (don’t know?) what real customer service is. Here, I am 100% sure that every time my customers come they will get the best customer service they can get anywhere. I want to make a difference.