The 10/90 Rule

By Bob Cox

When my parents would argue, which was limited to just three times a day (morning, noon and night); they would come from opposite ends of the universe. Dad called mom a hopeless optimist, with her eyes adorned with rose colored glasses while hanging out with the likes of Pollyanna and Tiny Tim as they tip-toed through the tulips. Dad; on the other hand, would have been best described as a hopeful pessimist, always looking for more reasons to confirm his belief that the world was truly a rotten place to live. He might have been miserable, but boy was he right!

I spent years searching for a place where the average human being could live in the world of reality while enjoying a steady diet of peace, joy and tranquility. During this search, I discovered a simple and effective practice where I could do just that on a pretty consistent basis.

The concept is called the 10/90 rule and here’s how it works. The happiest and most successful people spend very little time (about 10%) identifying a problem and most of their time (90%) and energy solving it. They don’t bury their heads in the sand when a problem occurs or dwell on it until they bring overwhelming misery to themselves and everyone around them. They attack the problem like a pit bull while it’s small and then solve it.

If you don’t believe this, observe the most happy and successful people you know and then compare them with the most unhappy and unsuccessful people you wish you didn’t know. Oftentimes, the most intelligent people are also the most chronically miserable people on earth. They waste the bulk of their time (90%) analyzing and complaining about problems with anyone and everyone born with at least one ear. Hopefully, if you’re near someone like this, you have two ears so that their rants can travel in one ear and exit quickly out of the other!

If your primary goal is to be happier, why on earth wouldn’t you practice the 10/90 rule on a consistent basis? I can think of at least four compelling motives that could prevent you from following this simple and effective rule.

1. The intoxicating allure of sympathy: When people we care deeply about give us their sympathy whenever we share our problems and vulnerabilities, we feel the power of their love for us. The desire for real personal freedom from our problems must be greater than this basic need to connect.
2. Getting stuck in the deep grooves of a negative encounter: Am I the only person that can have a day with one hundred positive encounters and only one unpleasant one and wind up obsessing about the negative one? I don’t think so. Negative feedback can often be extremely unsettling. The key is to acknowledge that you’re stuck in a negative groove and then resolve the unsettled issue as fast as possible using the 10/90 rule.
3. Unwillingness to change core beliefs and behaviors: When people say things like “I’m too old to change” or “That’s just the way I am”, what they’re really saying is “I do not have a strong enough incentive to change my behavior.” If you want to improve the quality of your life, you need to have enough insight to determine which patterns of behavior and choices lead to negative outcomes and then invest the time and energy to change them.
4. Addiction to drama: Do you feel like you need the external stimulation of problems that appear bigger than life to feel stimulated, energized and alive? If so, then yes my friend, you are addicted to drama and drama is the next door neighbor of misery. If you live in that neighborhood, resist the urge to borrow a cup of sugar!

If you’re feeling trapped or overwhelmed by problems that feel like a prison of pain, I strongly encourage you to give the 10/90 rule a try. Once you’ve tried it, see how you feel. If you like how you feel afterwards, by all means try it again and again until it becomes a part of everything you do. You deserve to be as happy as possible, so go for it! 

He Didn’t Dial 911 on 9/11

By Bob Cox

When it comes to unforgettable moments in the last century of American history, three will be etched upon the souls of everyone that’s old enough to remember them: The Japanese attack on Pearl Harbor (December 7, 1941), the assassination of President John F. Kennedy (November 22, 1963) and the terrorist attack on New York City and Washington D.C. (September 11, 2001). Whenever these topics are brought up, the conversation generally begins with the question: “Where were you when...?”

When the terrorist attack occurred fourteen years ago this month, I was pulling up to my office in Roseville when I heard the unbelievable news on the radio. My first thought was the attack happened here in downtown Sacramento against our own "Twin Towers". A few minutes later, when broadcasters were referring to The World Trade Center towers in New York City, I realized the tragedy was even more unfathomable.

As the news slowly emerged, with one horrific plane crash after another, most people seemed to either be shuffling around in a dazed fog or sitting in stunned shock in front of the nearest television screen. Yet, throughout all the chaos, mayhem and destruction, one man stood tall amongst the backdrop of the smoking skyscrapers. Hi name was Rudy Giuliani.

Rudolph William Louis Giuliani was born May 28, 1944, less than two weeks prior to another monumental date in American history (D-Day, June 6, 1944). During his childhood, his father fell far short of being a shining role model. Harold Giuliani not only had trouble holding down a steady job, he was convicted of felony assault and robbery and ended up serving time in Sing Sing Prison. Shortly after his release, he worked as an enforcer for his brother-in-law, who ran an organized crime operation, which involved loan sharking and gambling.

As an ironic twist of fate, Giuliani retraced his father’s footsteps and went on to become the United States Attorney for the Southern District of New York during the 1980’s. During his tenure, he prosecuted several cases against the Italian Mafia, including the notorious mob boss John Gotti (a.k.a. Teflon Don), who was sentenced to life in prison. This accomplishment earned Giuliani a reputation for being tough on crime and he continued to apply those practices as mayor from 1993-2001. During his tenure, crime in New York City was reduced substantially.

Giuliani was much more than the mayor of America’s largest city (New York) on September 11, 2001. He was also a prominent source of information and inspiration in the aftermath of the attacks on the World Trade Center. He continuously made time for interviews on radio and television in the days and weeks after the attacks. In one of his most famous statements, Giuliani said: “Tomorrow New York is going to be here. And we're going to rebuild, and we're going to be stronger than we were before... I want the people of New York to be an example to the rest of the country, and the rest of the world, that terrorism can't stop us.

In the wake of the attacks, Giuliani was widely hailed for his leadership during the crisis. Giuliani received a 79 percent approval rating among New York City voters shortly after the attacks and Oprah Winfrey referred to him as "America's Mayor". Later that year, Time magazine named Giuliani its Person of the Year for 2001.

Amazingly enough and despite his father’s obvious character flaws, he loved his dad dearly and gave him a lot of credit for his ability to deal with the chaos of 9/11. “The most important lesson my dad taught me was how to manage fear. Early on, he taught me that in a time of emergency, you've got to become deliberately calm. The more people are yelling and screaming around you, the calmer you should become. Become unnaturally calm. Somebody's got to be able to figure a way out of the jam. And you'll be able to do that."

Rudy Giuliani’s grit, determination and calm resolve galvanized our planet’s greatest nation and we found a way through the smoke and debris to become even stronger and more resilient. The next time you’re faced with a crisis, don’t allow collective fear and hysteria to sweep you up. Try following Rudy Giuliani’s example by remaining calm, proactive and determined. The results will likely amaze you.

Ralph Opfer Floors Delivered For Me!

I chose Ralph Opfer Floors because they were referred to me by my real estate agent and I like supporting small businesses. The owner’s daughter (Brianna) was friendly and knowledgeable and her father Gregg was awesome! Not only did they install these beautiful new floors, they also refaced my fireplace and installed new lights in my kitchen. I definitely recommend Ralph Opfer Floors to anyone that’s doing any kind of renovation to their house!

Ryan O’Connor  

April Peracchi’s Road to Recovery

Q: What was your life like before you met Dr. Blakely?

A: I suffered for years from chronic pain and severe tendinitis. I've been a homemaker for about 20 years I think my injuries were due to repetitive tasks. Anyone who has had tendinitis knows how excruciating it can be. Eventually, one of my arms completely froze up and became useless. Until you lose the functionality of one of your limbs, you don’t really realize everything you need two hands and arms for, like eating, picking up a gallon of milk, doing your hair, showering and everything else.

Q: What steps did you take to get your health back?

A: I ended up going to physical therapy to get movement back in my arm and also started seeing my first chiropractor. I got a pretty good amount of success and wanted to progress but when I didn’t after a couple of years, I started seeing Dr. Blakely.

Q: How was Dr. Blakely different from your first chiropractor?

A: I went in and had an interview with her and she taught me a lot about supplements, vitamins and minerals. I was extremely skeptical and had previous issues with vitamins bothering my stomach. I had tried everything else and had been suffering for about ten years with pain in my back, shoulder, neck and tendinitis. So, I started taking the supplements that targeted the inflammation I had in my body, which was causing a lot of my pain. She also asked me to change my diet pretty drastically and sure enough, I started feeling relief almost immediately in all areas of my body!

Q: What were the biggest changes that you received and how long did they take to achieve?

A: Well, I started to notice a decrease in pain pretty much right away. Before Dr. Blakely, my pain was about an eight, on a scale from 1-10. I would say my pain now is probably at about a two, if I even experience it. She’s basically allowed me to be pain free.

Q: So what kinds of activities are you now able to do that you couldn’t do before?

A: Mainly just living life in general. I can do all kinds of stuff every day like housework, yard work and running errands with the kids. I take care of my 91 year old grandmother and that requires a lot of lifting and I’m able to do all that fairly comfortably and be happier doing it. My success with Dr. Blakely is still an ongoing process and it takes dedication to the program she set up for me to maintain a healthy spine and lifestyle.

Editor’s notes: Dr. Beth Blakely is a chiropractor that specializes in holistic health care practices. She can be reached at (916) 944-1444.

Does Someone You Know Suffer from PTSD?

By Bob Cox

Once upon a time in a far-away land also known as Rancho Cordova, a very simple man we will call Bob believed that Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) was a condition that affected a very small percentage of soldiers that were involved in combat. Boy, was I, I mean he surprised when he discovered that PTSD is a disorder that has affected nearly 45 million Americans, most who have never even served in the armed forces. He was even more shocked when he learned that women were about twice as likely as men to develop PTSD and 71% of female military personnel develop PTSD due to sexual assault within the ranks.

Although very few of us will ever have to experience the horror of combat, no one is completely safe from experiencing a trauma during their lifetime. According to one study, 70% of adults (over 223 million) in the U.S. have experienced some type of traumatic event at least once in their lives and one out of five of these people will go on to develop PTSD.

If you’ve ever experienced any kind of traumatic event, you may have PTSD. In occupations where trauma is commonplace (police officers, firefighters, medical professionals etc.), people are more likely to experience PTSD. According to a recent study, the most common traumatic events that caused women to develop PTSD was childhood physical abuse (48.5%) and being raped (45.9%). For men, the top two traumatic incidents leading to PTSD was being raped (65.0%) and combat (38.8%).

I recently spoke to Janina Guarino, the founder of Better Decisions Counseling Services and her Medical Director Nancy Schonfeld-Warden to learn more about the services they’re providing here in Sacramento to help victims that suffer from PTSD.

Q: What is Better Decisions Counseling Services doing specifically to help people here in our community that are suffering from PTSD?

A: We will be hosting The 3nd Annual PTSD Free Community Event on Saturday, November 14 and will be providing a wide variety of resources and programs designed to help people who suffer from this affliction immediately. We have a number of worthwhile workshops and counseling services that are geared specifically to help people with PTSD. If we don’t have what you need to heal, we have a large number of valuable contacts within the community to address specific needs.

Q: According to statistics, PTSD often goes undiagnosed. Why is that?

A: Because the symptoms are so overt and extreme. The most common symptoms of PTSD include drug and alcohol abuse, abuse of one’s self and/or others and extreme isolation. We will be offering free screenings for PTSD at this special event in November!

Q: How are you able to successfully diagnose victims of PTSD?

A: Yes, we use a very detailed questionnaire whenever we’re assessing someone for an addiction. Oftentimes, the causes of addiction can be traced back to one or more traumatic events. By asking our clients if they’ve had the symptoms of PTSD, like nightmares or sleeping problems, we’re able to get to the true source of the problem.

Q: Does it usually take several counseling sessions before you discover a tragic event that has caused PTSD?

A: Yes. We are building relationships with people so that they can feel safe to discuss issues that they haven’t been able to talk about in the past.

Q: What are the most common symptoms of PTSD?

A: Anxiety, depression, irrational fears, nightmares, emotional numbness, angry outbursts and avoiding situations that are reminders of the trauma. Loud noises and objects flying overhead can trigger strong and unwanted memories of the traumatic event.

Q: Is it true that victims of PTSD create even more victims with their abusive and destructive behavior?

A: Yes, and that is a very common result when the illness goes undiagnosed and untreated. The solutions we offer are designed specifically for both the client (PTSD victim) and their immediate family. We offer customized programs that treat the whole family because the whole family is often severely impacted by the victim of PTSD.

Q: What programs do you offer victims and families affected by PTSD?

A: We have a variety of counseling services and classes, including PTSD counseling, drug and alcohol counseling, family counseling, self esteem and motivational practices, anger management and even alcohol & drug prevention for teens in the home. We also have a crisis hotline for immediate help because trauma has no set schedule. There’s a lot of support here and we have a really good treatment team. We do our best to keep our phone lines open to anybody that needs help.

Q: Are there any new programs out there that are successfully treating victims of PTSD?

A: Yes, some organizations are offering treatment by incorporating service dogs for PTSD victims. We will be providing free pamphlets on this new service as well as many other effective programs at the event in November. Better Decisions is a great place to start for a wide variety of mental and emotional health resources.

Q: Are you looking for volunteers and more interns?

A: Yes. We have room for anybody that wants to volunteer or needs help. We’re available by phone, email, website and social media, including Face book.

Q: What fun activities do you have scheduled for the 3^rd Annual PTSD FREE Community Event?

A: We plan to have a tasty chili cook-off, a car show, lots of vendors and festive music for all. For the kids, we’ll have face painting, clowns, a bounce house and petting zoo.

Editor’s notes: Janina Guarino is the founder of Better Decisions Counseling Services. She can be reached by phone at (916) 368-0700 and her email address is betterdecisions724@gmail.com.

The 3^nd Annual PTSD FREE Community Event

When: Saturday, November 14, 2015

Time: 10a.m. to 3pm.

Where: Better Decisions Counseling Services

Address: 10366 Rockingham Drive in Sacramento

The Startling Truth about Tires and Breaks

By Dave Trux

I was taught a very long time ago that the most important safety feature of a car is the tires. Let’s face it, how good are your brakes when your tires are bald and sliding around in the rain? Your car’s stopping ability is determined by your tires, NOT your brakes.

There are three key elements to tire performance: Tread pattern, tread depth and air pressure.

Tread pattern is what the tire actually looks like on the surface. There are grooves running this way and that. A tire should be purchased that fits your driving profile. Most California drivers can get away with just about anything but other regions require winter and non-winter tires. What’s important in California is wet weather traction. Channeling and siping (miniature slits) help to remove the water from between the tire’s tread blocks and the road surface.

Tread depth is important for wet weather traction since deeper grooves will remove and channel more water at a given speed. Naturally, the tire will wear throughout its life until the tread exposes the “wear bars,” which are small bumps approximately 2/32” high located randomly within the grooves of the tire. Generally speaking, when they are exposed the tire should be replaced.

Air pressure is what gives the tire strength to resist wear and determine load capacity. There is a pressure on the side of the tire. It is only there to provide maximum load capacity pressure. An average tire will handle approx 3,000 lbs at max pressure. Your car probably does not exceed 3900 lbs, which is spread across 4 tires. We get into trouble by NOT checking air pressure often enough. In California it is against the law to service a car without checking air pressure.

Making sure that your tires are properly inflated and have adequate tread depth is a key to driving safety. Pressure should be checked at least once a month, more often is better. Drive safely and make sure your tires are in good condition. At Valley Motorwerks, we will check any brand of tires for free because it’s simply that important.

Editor’s notes: Dave Trux is the owner of Valley Motorwerks in Rancho Cordova, CA. Their address is 11403 White Rock Road in Rancho Cordova, CA, their phone number is (916) 636-9526 and their website is www.vmwerks.com.

Helping Local Businesses get Plugged In

By Alika Salazar

Many of you know by now that we here at iParts Repair take your broken device seriously. We repair all smart phones with all different operating systems, including Androids, Windows and iOS on iPhone (all generations). We even repair tablets, iPads, laptops, monitors and all sorts of electronic things used in the corporate setting.

Once smartphones, iPads and tablets were introduced onto the market, our local corporations and businesses started deploying sales people with smart phones and devices and we took notice. In 2010, we developed our corporate account repair program. Here are some of the highlights of our no cost program:

• Corporate discounted rates
• One stop shop for all devices
• Your employees qualify for a discount on personal devices
• Monthly eblasts
• Corporate pick up service (Minimum 5 devices)

We know that business doesn’t stop when your electronic device does. Most businesses today rely heavily upon technology and every second your business is unplugged, the likelihood of a catastrophe or missed opportunity increases. That’s why we are extremely committed to the unique and urgent needs of our corporate clients. Our experienced and qualified staff can handle emergencies large and small, so if your electronic device decides to take a coffee break at the worst possible time, give us a call right away or see more at: http://www. ipartsrepair.com/corporate-accounts/

Editor’s notes: Alika Salazar is the owner of iParts Phone Repairs. He can be reached at (916) 936-9316.

Cell Phones for Soldiers

By Alika Salazar

Two years ago, we decided to invite an organization into each of our three stores called Cell Phones for Soldiers. People can come to us and donate their old cell phones. Cell Phones for Soldiers, a non-profit organization, sells those phones for money and buys airtime cards for the soldiers to call home. We met the person (Robbie Bergquist) who started it all last week during a convention in Las Vegas. He was just 12 years old and his sister Brittany 13 when they began eleven years ago. They wanted to pay a soldier’s bill that was $800, so they started saving all their money and their organization grew bigger as more and more people heard about what they were doing. People all over started helping them, giving them cell phones. Today, it’s nationwide and they’ve helped a lot of people.

Since its inception in 2004, Cell Phones for Soldiers has worked to provide free communication services to active-duty military members and veterans, providing servicemen and women with an estimated 3 million prepaid calling cards, equating to more than 213 million minutes of FREE talk time!

Cell Phones for Soldiers fuel’s its mission through generous monetary contributions and the recycling of donated mobile phones. Newer or gently-used mobile phones from all service providers are accepted. Each $5 contribution or donated device valued at $5 will provide troops with 2.5 hours of FREE talk time. The organization has prevented more than 11.6 million cell phones from ending up in landfills.

We are an official drop off point for Cell Phones for Service, so if you have an old cell phone just lying around the house collecting dust or making crank calls (just kidding), we encourage you to bring it in to any one of our three stores. When you do, be sure to remove all your personal information from your old phone before you bring it in to protect your identity. Your contribution could save you money as it is tax deductible. Our soldiers and our landfills will greatly appreciate your generosity and compassion.

One Life after an Auto Accident

By Bob Cox

When Kristina Holm-Bittner was involved in a car accident two days before Thanksgiving last year, she knew she was in trouble. Her doctor ordered x-rays but they didn’t find anything wrong. Unfortunately, Kristina’s neck and back continued hurting for several months.

She was at church one day and was sharing her experience with a lady friend who recommended that she see Dr. Beth Blakely. Kristina told her she was extremely skeptical of chiropractors and that she couldn’t afford it, but her friend recommended that she go see her at least one time for a thorough consultation and evaluation.

Fortunately, Kristina took her friend’s advice and she’s getting her life back. I had the opportunity to speak to Kristina the other day about her experience working with Dr. Blakely.

Q: What symptoms did you have after your car accident?

A: I had pain in my neck and lower back and was getting by on pain medication. When I first met Dr. Blakely, I had a real positive feeling and was impressed by her. She helped me understand her whole treatment process. She began by recommending that I see a pain consult doctor and ask for an MRI, which my regular doctor did not do. The pain consult doctor gave me two epidural injections and the pain in my knee that I had for years completely disappeared! They told me that my knee pain originated in my back and probably got worse because of the accident.

Q: Why were you skeptical of chiropractors?

A: I was really, really skeptical because I’m a nurse.

Q: What else has Dr. Blakely done specifically to help you?

A: Her adjustments have really helped. When I first came in, she measured my legs and said that one leg was shorter than the other and that we needed to get my spine in alignment. I was really skeptical and thought that was bogus, but her adjustment worked! I can really feel the difference after each adjustment. I also mentioned that my vitamin D level was low, despite following my doctor’s recommendations for the previous three years. She suggested that I increase my dosage eight times and I thought “What?”, but I did and it worked! My daughter had the same problem, so I told her what Dr. Blakely recommended, so she’s helped my daughter too! The last time I went to the doctor, my vitamin D level was normal.

Q: How much better do you feel after seeing Dr. Blakely?

A: Since I started seeing her last February, my neck does not bother me at all and it’s 100% better! My back is still not right, but I’m at least 60%-70% better. We do a lot of lifting and a lot of hard physical work in health care, so I really need my health. That’s why I decided to continue to see her two times a month. Dr. Blakely has made a big difference in my life! 

Discovering the Palace

By Bob Cox

With autumn now upon us, I was planning to write an inspiring biography about the man we celebrate on the second Monday of October every year, Christopher Columbus. I believed that the inspiring tales of his expedition would encourage all of our readers to go for it. And then I made a terrible discovery and felt unsure of what to write.

I planned to share how Columbus needed the skill-set of two essential attributes to pull off what he did: “Salesmanship” and “sailsmanship” and he possessed both qualities in great abundance. The “salesman” needed funding to find what he believed was a shorter route to Asia by crossing the Atlantic and after several objections, got it from Queen Isabella of Spain. To reach Asia, which was actually The New World (San Salvador Island in the Bahamas), the “sailsman” had to have a thorough understanding of the ocean currents and trade winds to reach shore safely.

As I continued my research, I discovered the horrific dark side of our famous explorer. Columbus ruled the natives and his own men with ruthless and barbaric practices. During his seven-year reign as Governor of all the new lands claimed for Spain, he and his men subjected natives and colonists to a plethora of crimes against humanity, including rape, torture and mutilation. Queen Isabella and King Ferdinand learned about his sadistic methods of rule and responded by removing Columbus from power. A 48-page report was discovered in 2006 and contains testimonies from 23 people, including both enemies and supporters of Columbus, about his mistreatment of colonial subjects.

I shared this dilemma with my wife Diana on the morning of our deadline. Should I only focus on the positive qualities and accomplishments of Columbus in our magazine, since our goal is to motivate and inspire others to be the best possible version of themselves? Should I briefly mention the evil methods he practiced in a simple paragraph so that I wasn’t advocating him a person we should all aspire to be more like? Or should I scrap the whole article and write a follow-up on last month’s column titled “The 10/90 Rule”?

Diana voted for the last option, so if you’re in her camp and you think this article is too dark and controversial, feel free to join her by saying “Bob, I told you so”! With the deadline fast approaching, I was losing the luxury of time, so I needed to find a place where I could come up with a quick and compelling solution.

Enter the palace. The palace is a place I like to call my mind. It is a sacred place for me to entertain thoughts that appear like uninvited visitors. These visitors are actually an endless stream of random thoughts, some more urgent than others, and they all have one thing in common: They all want to be heard immediately. The thoughts that have a problem or negative message to share always seem to be the loudest and most obnoxious. They’re also the one’s that keep coming back like zombies or angry customers in the TV show “Hardcore Pawn”. Unfortunately, no matter how big a bouncer I get, they just keep coming back!

If I try to ignore the negative thoughts by only entertaining the positive visitors, it never works. The “Negative Nellie’s” revisit the palace and they are louder, angrier and more relentless than ever. So, under these extreme situations, I eventually have to listen to them, but I try to invite them back at a time when I’m feeling rested and balanced. Otherwise, whenever I cave in and listen to them on the spot and I’m not at the top of my game, I only make their problem, which then becomes my problem, much worse.

So, I’ve taken that original article titled, “The Sailsman” and changed it to “Discovering the Palace”. I believe that after this careful examination, you’ll understand why. And if you do, please explain it back to me because I’m starting to get confused!

Oops, that was just another “Negative Nellie”. Okay, I’m back. If you want to live with greater peace, joy and harmony, a good first step is to practice the 10/90 Rule. Spend no more than 10% of your time addressing a problem and no less than 90% of your time solving it with positive action. If you do this, you’ll be off to a great start.

Next, if you’re anything like me and you can have a day full of positive encounters and just one negative one and then obsess about the negative one, I feel your pain. If this is you, don’t try to fool yourself into believing that if you only ignore the negative visitor, it will go away, because we both know that it won’t! Instead, invite that negative thought back into your palace, but only when you are ready to listen to it. Otherwise, you will likely take a bad situation and make it much worse if you attempt to resolve it when you’re not at your best.

If you find yourself facing a formidable problem and you’re in a position of power over one or more human beings, by all means, do not follow the blood-stained footsteps of our famous explorer by ruling with fear, cruelty and intimidation. Whether you’re ancestors are from the New World or the Old World, every human being wants and deserves to be respected. We must begin the process by having respect for ourselves and then having respect for and from others. Take an enlightened step forward into this New World by entering your palace and then choosing to act with kindness, compassion and respect for all living creatures. This will create a better and healthier environment for us all to live in.