By Bob Cox
The
other day, I had a phone conversation with my son Bobby and he
confided that he had been dealing with some unresolved anxieties.
When I asked him if he knew what the underlying causes were, he said
yes but he wasn't sure how he was going to solve them.
At
that point, I reminded him that the only permanent and healthy way to
eliminate any recurring problem was for him to dig deeper and uproot
the underlying fears and self doubts that were creating the anxiety.
Superficial options, like prescription drugs or alcohol might give
him a temporary repite from his troubles, but the source of his
anxieties would surely come back with greater frequency and
intensity. Merely cutting down and removing the toxic tree of fear
and self doubt would never be a permanent solution. He would have to
go deeper and remove the entire root system before going on to the
next tree.
Years
ago, I read a self help book that offered a very unique and
insightful way of handling overwhelming problems. The author
encouraged his readers to pretend that you’re looking at the
present moment as though it’s a memory and you are on your death
bed, wishing you could travel back in time and make a different
choice. What choice would you make and why do you believe it would it
create better results?
Before
I started Go For It Magazine seven years ago, I was faced with one of
the most challenging situations of my life. After working as an
independent rep with a company for many years, there was an abrupt
change in ownership. I walked in one day and learned that the
franchise owner, who was also a good friend was suddenly gone,
replaced by a team of corporate representatives that assured us that
business would go on as usual, with few changes or interruptions.
Over
time, those reassurances gradually disappeared as the company fell
under the financial microscope of their stockholders. Little by
little, our professional freedoms were being stripped away. To make
matters worse, a brand new management team was installed to turn
things around. These were not the warm and friendly people that we
had worked with for so many years. These were people that appeared to
lack a beating heart or have an ounce of compassion. In that final,
dysfunctional year, the only thing the company really managed was to
hasten the revolving door for their sales reps and administrative
managers.
As
the month’s dragged on and the situation continued to deteriorate,
I practiced the exercise mentioned earlier and the answer came to me
with great clarity. Staying and trying to fix the problem clearly
hadn't worked. As much as I liked my co-workers and the growing
income, I knew I had to make a positive change and leave. I had to
come to terms with my own fears and self doubts and knew that as long
as I stayed in that toxic environment, the situation would likely
never get better.
If
you’re grappling with a toxic tree that appears larger than life,
give this technique a try. This approach to problem solving can lead
you to greater insights by creating a healthier distance from the
problem. The additional space should help you travel above the
clutter of negative thoughts that may prevent you from coming up with
a clear solution. Finally, you’ll be able to see the problem
through a different set of eyes and give you the fresh perspective
you need to attack the issue with greater enthusiasm head on.d
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