Trusting in Trust

By Bob Cox

On a sleepy Sunday not so long ago, my wife Diana came into the bedroom with the sweet sound of excitement in her voice as I was slowly waking up. She explained how she had an amazing discovery to share with me in the living room, so I knew I was in for a treat!

I eagerly crawled out of bed and wobbled down our narrow hallway and after a quick detour to the restroom; I traversed the final few steps until I sank into my favorite recliner next to Diana. She looked into my eyes and said, “I’ve been watching this powerful TV program and it’s going to change everything!”

I rewound the show called Super Soul Sunday to the beginning and watched Oprah Winfrey interviewing Iyanla Vanzant about the powerful insights in her newest book titled Trust. Iyanla went on to explain that the key to her transformation from an abused and fearful child into a confident, wise and compassionate adult was rooted in what she calls the four essential trusts: 1. Trust in self 2. Trust in God 3. Trust in Others 4. Trust in Life.

As I listened to the soul searching conversation between these two very enlightened women, I knew instantly that their perceptions of life closely matched mine. Iyanla believes that the foundation for creating a better life begins with a deeply rooted core of trust in yourself.

Trust in yourself sounds like an easy thing to do, so why is it so hard to achieve? Like Iyanla, I believe that the seeds of self doubt are planted in the fertile soil of our earliest memories. As children, we were taught to always listen to and follow the instructions of people that were older and more experienced. If we failed to follow their rules and do what we wanted, there would typically be a price to pay for such disobedience.

In an ideal world, each child would be gradually given more freedom to make more decisions. If one of those decisions has a positive outcome, the adults in the room would enthusiastically lead a celebration. On the other hand; if the result was negative, those adults would share their insights while guiding the child through their decision making process until the child discovers exactly where the plan went awry. From the ashes of our mistakes, an even mightier forest rises.

If you want to create a healthier and happier life for yourself and the ones you love, take my advice and follow Iyanla’s advice: TRUST YOURSELF. This advice may be hard to follow, but trust me...no trust Iyanla...no, trust your own inner voice of wisdom, which will set you free from the dreaded demons of self doubt.

Whenever you’re faced with a difficult decision to make, is your mind relentlessly pounded by the disturbing voices of self doubt? If it is, imagine those voices coming from a small childhood version of yourself and be the adult in the room. Listen to those concerns carefully, without fear, guilt, shame or judgment. Once all the concerns are out, listen to your wise inner voice and come up with a plan to make a quality choice. Trust yourself and then go for it!