Happy Wives Day

By Bob Cox

Is it just me or does it seem like every year in America, we’re snookered into celebrating another new holiday? It’s become almost as obnoxious as the pharmaceutical industry; how they invent a new disease just about every week and then come to our rescue by securing a patent on yet another cash cow disguised in tiny pill bottles. Thank God they’re here to look out for our best interests! But I digress. If you think I’m exaggerating about the holidays, don’t take my word for it, visit our know-it-all friend and guru we call Google.

By the time the 2017 calendar year ends, we will have observed 231 total holidays in the United States. Imagine all the cake we could enjoy at the office if we took the time to celebrate each and every one of them? On second thought, forget that idea. That would just be another massive payday for the pharmaceutical industry, with large quantities of office workers being rushed to their nearest hospital from sugar induced comas.

We celebrate all things large and small in our crazy country, including a cute and furry rodent (Ground Hog’s Day: February 2). We pay homage to our jobs and the people who put up with us: Employee Appreciation Day (March 3), Administrative Professionals Day (April 26), Take our Daughters and Son’s to Work Day (April 27), Labor Day (September 4) and Bosses Day (October 16). We party like it’s 1999 for the folks that brought us into this world: Mother’s Day (May 14), Father’s Day (June 18) and Parents Day (July 23). We tip our hats to the young and old: Senior Citizens Day (August 21), National Grandparents Day (September 10) and Child’s Health Day (October 2). We’ve even set aside a special day to show mad respect for shopping and the almighty computer: Black Friday (November 24) and Cyber Monday (November 27).

What’s next, we celebrate a color? Oh yeah, we already do that: National Red Wear Day (February 3). Yet, despite the mass quantities of holidays we’re forced to endure, dare I toss yet another idea into the already overstuffed suggestion box that’s sincerely overdue and worthy of serious consideration? Yes guys, how about we take time out of our pathetic little lives to celebrate the ladies who do so much for all of us lazy slobs they fondly refer to as their husbands. Yes, it’s about time we start celebrating our wives!

Generally speaking, many wives do the brunt of the household chores without breaking a sweat, running circles around us by handling most or all of the shopping, cooking, cleaning and child raising while also holding down full-time employment. They also manage to get much of it done before we slink out of bed and have time to cry in front of the bathroom mirror at the hideous sight we’ve become. Sound familiar? I hope not.

I know I shouldn’t act like a self-appointed spokesperson for all husbands because not every guy is lucky enough to marry their best friend and soul mate. But since I was, I owe it to the world to express my gratitude for being fortunate enough to have a woman by my side that I love, adore and respect with all my heart for these past 20 years. A woman that loves me unconditionally while inspiring me to be a better man.

What’s truly important isn’t the number of boxes that my wife Diana checks off on her never ending to do list, but the hearts and minds she’s impacted during her amazing journey on this earth. Through her life’s work as a massage therapist, she’s been a devoted masseuse and trusted confidant that’s offered sage, life changing advice that’s helped countless friends and family members break free from the invisible chains of pain and suffering to reveal a happier and healthier person.

I could go on and on about the many virtues of my wife, but I would likely run out of ink and paper doing so. Of course I realize that she’s not a perfect angel and just like the rest of us, she has character traits that can be improved upon. On the other hand, the way she puts up with all my weird little quirks and disorders, especially my obsessive and compulsive tendencies; forget about it. She must be an angel, so Happy Wives Day Diana!