Raising the Bar of Freedom

By Bob Cox

I was out prospecting for more business one bright and sunny spring day, when I stopped by to visit a former client who was busy cleaning up her property. She seemed completely content as she worked away on the exterior of her home, knocking out several tasks when she turned to me and said, “Sometimes I feel so tired because I have to do everything. When I was growing up, my dad went to work and my mom stayed at home and everyone was happy. I think life was better when men went to work and women stayed at home. I think that men should be the providers…what do you think?"

I didn't say much because I was on another deadline and had empty pages to fill, so I merely nodded and smiled. Even though I didn't comment directly, I actually did have some strong opinions on the subject. For the vast majority of our generation, the Baby Boomers, this was the way we grew up. Most of my friends in school we're raised by two parents, which has become less and less common.

Since 1950, the number of one-parent families has increased substantially. In 1970, about 11 percent of children lived in single-parent homes. Those numbers have more than doubled in the last two generations as approximately 26% of children under the age of 21 in the U.S. today are raised in single-parent environments (U.S. Census Bureau). There are approximately 13.6 million single parents in the United States today and those parents are responsible for raising 21.2 million children.

 

In the famous words of Dr. Phil, how has this been working out for America? So far, not so great. In 1950, 252,615 people were in prison. Just 60 years later, that number has increased over 800% as 2,266,800 adults were incarcerated in prisons and county jails! The United States has the highest documented incarceration rate in the world. At year-end 2009, 743 adults per 100,000 population (0.7% of adults) were incarcerated, according to the U.S. Bureau of Justice Statistics. The population in the United States roughly doubled during this time period (from 150,697,361 to 308,745,538). What does this all mean? The average adult is now four times more likely to be incarcerated than an adult who lived in 1950!

So, can we possibly draw a valid, reliable and comprehensive correlation between the rise in single parent homes and the swelling prison population? While I do believe it would be a gross error in simplicity to conclude that these trends represent a complete and accurate explanation to this complex question while dismissing an infinite number of other uncontrollable variables; on the other hand, one cannot simply ignore these two irrefutable facts.

How do we sort this all out? On paper, it would appear that the generations before us had a better and healthier handle on life. One could make a strong argument by concluding that the children of pervious generations received more quality time with two responsible adults guiding them to healthier choices. But, to the best of my knowledge, life has never been played out on paper, so unless you’re an astronaut, the great game of life will continue to be played out between the earth and sky.

With that said, if we were to examine the single greatest motive that has driven Americans from our humble beginnings could be summed up in one single word: FREEDOM. In the brief history of America, tens of millions of our planet's inhabitants have been drawn to our great nation like moths to the light, with the primary incentive being freedom. America continues to lead the way and ring the bells of freedom and democracy.

Since the 1960's, it seems like we’ve been stuck in an age of adolescence, too knowledgeable and experienced to go back to an age where our freedom was limited by rigidly defined roles of previous generations but not wise enough to limit the collateral damage that’s been done to our internal and external environments. The single greatest change between then and now is the change that has taken place in our homes. The rigid roles that kept woman trapped in the kitchen and men confined to unfulfilling jobs are not a healthy or viable option to go back to. At the same time, we cannot bury our collective heads in the sand and stay the course while filling our prisons and landfills with our unwanted and tarnished treasures.

I believe that the best way to pay homage to the brave soldiers who fought and died for the freedom we enjoy is to live life well and continue to raise the bar of freedom. When our forefathers drafted our constitution, which was a formal proposal of a form of government that was unprecedented in human history, we challenged its legitimacy when our dark skinned brothers and sisters were abducted from their homelands and endured an unimaginable nightmare. Enlightened individuals stood up and challenged this horrifying hypocrisy and we are better off today for it. Less than a century ago, women were denied the right to vote, but enlightened individuals stood united and we are better off today for it. Now is the time to once again rise up, raise the bar of freedom while saying no to our wasteful, throw-away habits.

The path of freedom may always be uncomfortably rocky, but the surest way to pave the road ahead for a smoother ride into the future involves raising the bar of RESPECT as we raise the bar of FREEDOM. We need to show compassion and respect for all living creatures small and large, including our living planet. Let’s do this by ending all the double standards of commanding respect while refusing to share it gracefully. Let us show respect for our elders while also respecting our children. Let’s all pick up the slack by offering the younger generation our words of wisdom, no matter how much they protest (I'm kidding)! Let’s be extremely generous with giving respect, so that we can enjoy the respect that others will eagerly return. Finally, let’s respect ourselves and say no to the foreign invaders, the thoughts that say its okay to hurt ourselves and others by taking things that do not belong to us. Where on earth do we begin? Exactly! Right here on earth, right now. The journey always has and always will begin with the beautiful collaboration between our hearts and our minds, so say no further procrastination and yes to action . . . go for it!