“He
can’t help it; he’s set in his ways.” The folk wisdom that
adults can’t change is being challenged by new research. Our
personality is not cast in stone in childhood; the
brain is highly reprogrammable at any age.
Neuroplasticity refers to the
brain’s ability to form new neural pathways, interconnections
between parts of our nervous system. This happens after injury but
also in response to our environment, thoughts and emotions.
As with building muscle, the
more we “work out” certain neural pathways, the stronger they
become. Robust pathways become our favored psychological “highways.”
We can generate more happiness, calm and kindness in our life simply
by practicing these emotions.
Throughout our lives, we have
unwittingly used this technique to program negative emotions, but we
can do the same for patience, love, passion and joy.
How many of you know something
intellectually but fail to apply that wisdom? You know jealousy will
push your partner away, but you get angry when they talk to the
opposite sex for too long, anyway.
“When
judgment or negativity comes up, it means your internal dialogue is
off,” says Thais
Gibson,
a personal development expert.
Thankfully there is a simple
fix. “Your subconscious mind works more through feeling than
language,” Gibson says. By leveraging strong emotion, we create a
direct line to the operating instructions of your subconscious.
Think about a time you were
incredibly angry or hurt and changed a belief that you now hold? In
my case, when I lost a business deal, I used my anger to replace an
attachment to one specific version of success.
Here are four methods you can
use to train yourself to think and feel anything:
1. Tony Robbins’ Priming Method
Tony Robbins says emotion is
created by motion. A change in your physical “state” will change
how you feel. Last month I attended his Unleash the Power Within
seminar and learned about priming, which harnesses this principle.
Here’s how it works:
- Sit down with your eyes closed and raise your hands above your head.
- Breathe heavily in and out through your nose for three sets of 30 breaths.
- On each out breath, pull your arms downward, making fists.
In the resulting state, you can
easily plant healthy new thoughts and beliefs in your mind.
2. The Demartini Method
Human behavior specialist Dr.
John Demartini also uses neuroplasticity to reprogram the brain. He
asks his clients a series of questions to help them neutralize
negative emotional charges and replace them with emotional
equilibrium.
His method alters several
structures of the brain, including the hypothalamus and amygdala,
which are responsible for expressions of fear, guilt and aggression.
How
does it work? When facing a challenging situation, Gibson says,
“Question the situation itself and ask
what good comes from it.”
Look for the benefits, because there’s always at least one.
Maybe
your enormous strength, which you value so greatly, comes from a
parent abandoning you as a child or a physical illness? Seeing
the good
can help you drop unhelpful beliefs quickly.
3. Affirmations
“Whatever we plant in our subconscious mind and
nourish with repetition and
emotion
will one day become a reality.” ―Earl
Nightingale
Over
time we can become set in our ways. Repetitive thinking leads to
stronger connections between neurons, and the brain defaults to these
deeper pathways. We get
stuck in a rut.
But there is hope. It’s possible to be the architect of our own
Scrooge-like metamorphosis using affirmations: phrases repeated often
and daily.
Our subconscious is the factory
that generates many of our thoughts—positive and negative—and can
be reprogrammed not only with strong emotion but also through
repetition. Affirmations lodge new operating instructions into your
subconscious the same way that listening to a song on repeat will
leave it stuck in your head for days.
Tony
Robbins
bridges the gap between repetition and emotion. His “incantations”
are affirmations done with explosive emotion and conviction.
If
your affirmation is “I
am a persuasive speaker,”
then your incantation would be the same words, shouted while beating
your chest and jumping around. The idea here, upheld by the science
of neuroplasticity, is that our brains are more susceptible to
reprogramming under conditions of heightened emotion.
4. Visualization
“What you imagine, you create.” ―Buddha
Visualization works like
affirmations to rewire our neurons and attract the thoughts and
feelings we want.
Vividly
imagining yourself doing or having whatever you want works well for
quickly getting
your dream job,
house or relationship, but it can also work for attracting healthy
emotions. If you consistently visualize yourself reacting to
challenges with calm and compassion, you will manifest this behavior.
Take
time every day to visualize yourself having
the emotional resilience
or the positive beliefs that you want. With even five minutes of
daily practice, you will start to see powerful change.
After 15 years, I still meditate
at least 10 minutes each day. But after 15 years, I still struggle
with insecurity, fear and anger. I had little choice but to seek out
a way to actively install new patterns.
Meditation pulls me out of the
stream, but with the new tools, I’m building a boat to better
navigate the flow without getting soaked. You can do the same, but be
patient—you’ve taken a lifetime to wear in your neural grooves.
Consistent and skilful practice is the way.
Have patience; you’ve got
this.
