By
Bob Cox
Before
I began watching Cesar Milan, a.k.a. “The Dog Whisperer”, I found
myself feeling frustrated whenever I took my dog The Nut for a walk.
Oftentimes, she would take off like a bottle rocket on the Fourth of
July whenever she saw something she wanted to chase after. Let me
tell you, when you have too many pounds of unbridled excitement burst
forward without any obvious notice, there’s a tremendous amount of
unwanted impact that happens on the other side of the leash. I
suffered the consequences of severe shoulder strain while nearly
being knocked off my feet on multiple occasions. My poor wife Diana
fared even worse as she dislocated a shoulder from several of these
Nutty encounters!
I
pointed the finger at my dog for being the source of the problem. I
reasoned that if she would just calm down whenever she saw a squirrel
or cat; we could both enjoy a leisurely stroll through the
neighborhood. What I learned from Cesar is that while I had pointed
the finger at my dog, I had three fingers pointing back at me. In
that moment of clarity, I realized that I was the true source of the
problem. I was being a bad pack leader.
My
transformation from being a bad pack leader to being a good pack
leader began when I redefined the purpose of my walks with The Nut.
In the past, I self-centeredly used these walks to either get lost in
a sea of thoughts or mentally check out altogether while being
oblivious to the external environment. When I made the decision to
redefine the purpose of our walks, which was to help my dog and I
enjoy our 20 minutes together by becoming an effective and respected
pack leader, everything changed for the better.
The
first step on our walk to achieve greater balance and joy began when
I chose to tune in and pay attention to our surrounding environment
while appreciating the beauty of the great outdoors. Once this shift
occurred, oftentimes I would spot the potential target of pray before
The Nut and swiftly avoid potential chaos by moving her gently to the
opposite side of my body while maintaining our pace. On the few
occasions when she saw a dastardly varmint, I quickly redirected her
locked-down focus with either a quick touch to her body or tug on the
leash. After two or three corrections, we were back on a positive
path forward and I followed through by rewarding her with praise for
a job well done.
For
those of you who don’t own a dog, the principals of being a good
pack leader can be practiced in any situation when your goal is to
create a healthy relationship with another animal we like to call
human beings. Would you like to be a better parent, spouse or
co-worker? Great, that’s half the battle! The desire to improve is
healthy because it can become a catalyst for positive and lasting
change. The next step to resolving any conflict involves a wise and
simple course of action. Be sure to take yourself off the autopilot
of self-centered thinking and plug into the moment. When you do this,
you change the agenda from “me” to “we”. Listen to your
partner attentively and find out what they want from the
relationship. When you do this, you set the bar of trust, respect and
cooperation higher and your partner will feel more encouraged to
reciprocate. Finally, if either you or your partner gets off track,
don’t ignore the bad behavior and allow unspoken resentments to
build up and fester. A quick correction, followed up with sincere
praise insures a brighter path and a more peaceful walk for us all.
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