The Golden Angel

By Bob Cox

During my childhood and as a young adult, I wasted a lot of time and energy taking on every battle that came my way. Either I would confront the ‘wrongdoer’ that disrespected me by directly confronting them or indirectly confronting them by coming up with clever things I could have said or done long after the deed was done. As terrible as a given event might have been, the incessant thoughts of ‘What I could have done’ plagued me like a scratch that makes a record album skip. The after-effects of my chronic obsessions were usually ten times worse than the actual incident! As I've grown older, I've learned the value of serenity and choosing my battles carefully while at the same time being more considerate, thoughtful and courteous to others so I don’t inadvertently start a battle that everyone loses!

If you truly want to make a positive difference in the world, the fine art of choosing your battles wisely is an important lesson to practice. Why, because we are all born with a limited amount of time, energy and resources. If you really want to affect a positive change in the world, choose something you’re passionate about and then go for it. On the other hand, as powerful as this practice can be, there is an even greater lesson a rare few will learn. That is when the battle chooses you.

Last month, the public was inundated with news about the tragic shooting death of Wendy Hall-Onkle, the founder of Alex Onkle Financial Support Foundation. When her sister Shauna received the news, she was devastated and heartbroken. Shauna and Wendy were extremely close and their bond was unbreakable. The love they felt for one another was enduring and unconditional. Shauna wondered to herself and aloud why such a senseless tragedy occurred. Then one day, while walking along the beach, a miracle happened…she got her answer.

“Ever since my sister Wendy was murdered, I had been in a very dark spot and differing ranges of emotions poured through my being. I wasn't able to get a really good grasp on things and was barely making it. Day to day, just getting out was a difficult struggle and last week, after another workday, I decided that I needed to get a little exercise. I had been immobile for a few weeks, which isn't my normal behavior. Generally, I work out every day but I hadn't been doing the things to take care of myself like normal. I told my son Zack I was going to take a walk along the beach because I just wanted to get some clarity and Wendy was definitely heavy on my mind as the sadness was pouring through me.

As I was walking, the sky was blue above the ocean. When I got to the corner of the walkway, I smelled a distinct and heavy fragrance of jasmine and rosemary. As I turned around the corner, it was like I walked into another world as there was gold everywhere. The sky was gold, the water was gold; everything was gold. Even the window panes on people’s houses were reflecting gold. As I walked up towards the beach, I noticed it was just breathtaking – there were beams of light everywhere. I got this feeling as I was approaching it that I was literally being pulled towards it and felt my sister’s presence. At one point, I felt her son’s (Alex-who passed away) presence. All the sadness that I was carrying, which was a lot, had subsided and I had a great feeling of peace, happiness and complete contentment.

People were standing around everywhere, taking pictures and talking about the heart-shaped opening in the clouds. I saw a great big beam of light pouring through the clouds like in the movie The Lion King and it was reflecting off the ocean and it was in the distinct shape of a heart. It was then that I realized that this was a gift from my sister. Shortly before she died, she had posted a picture on Facebook where there were two tire tracks right in front of her car and they made the shape of two hearts intertwined. She had made a comment that the two hearts was a sign from her son that it was their hearts and they would be together soon. That was a message that Wendy knew that I would recognize because I saw the tire tracks picture again and again all over Facebook the day she died. In that moment, I felt a complete sense of healing, peacefulness and hope. I no longer felt like she was leaving me alone in this world to deal with things.

As I looked up, I noticed that people were smiling at me. One couple asked me to take their picture and after I did, the gal asked me if I knew what the sunset was for. I said yeah, I think I do know. She asked me if somebody had died recently and I said yes, my sister was murdered. She said, yeah I know, I’m sorry for your loss and she smiled at me with a really kind heart. I handed her camera back and she told me to have a good day.

As I started to walk back, I felt this sense of sadness because my back was towards the sun and I started to cry and said please don’t leave me. Within a few seconds, I felt the presence of Wendy and Alex walking with me as if they were holding my hands. As the sun began to set, the sky color changed from red to light purple, which is the same exact color of her logo ribbon for the cancer awareness (DSRCT). The feeling that if I walked away from that sunset that I had to say goodbye had left me because I realized that this wasn't goodbye. It was like she was saying I’ll be right here and I'll see you in a few years.

When I came home, I felt completely lifted from all the anger, pain and hatred that I had in my heart and I realized that I had to do something about the situation that these parents are in with their children. It became apparent to me that life is about helping and healing other people and Wendy figured that out before she died. Ever since that day, there have been amazingly beautiful sunsets and I’m feeling more positive and productive every day.

The Alex Onkle Financial Support Foundation was founded by Wendy Hall-Onkle (a.k.a. the Golden Angel) to help financially support families affected with childhood cancer. Wendy and Alex chose a red and purple ribbon for the logo with gold letters, the same colors that Shauna witnessed that magical evening. While Alex was here, one of his dying wishes was to start a foundation for the parents of children who have cancer, so that parents could stay home with their kids when they were dying. All he wanted was his mom and dad there as he went on to the next place. He had told Wendy a day or two before he died that God had came to him while he was asleep and told him that He was waiting for him and he told his mom that he would have to go soon.

According to Shauna, Alex was a very old soul and full of life. Everyone who spent 5 minutes with him would be inspired. He was labeled Alex the Superhero because in the midst of unimaginable pain, he reached out to others and gave back. When Alex was just 4 years old, he was diagnosed with a rare aggressive cancer in July 2010 called Desmoplastic Small Round Cell Tumor (DSRCT). After several excruciating months of radiation and chemotherapy, Alex made the active decision to stop the treatments because he wanted better quality for the rest of his life. Wendy lost her son Alex on April 20, 2013 after a 33 month fight at the age of 7.

The battle has chosen Shauna and her family and friends could not be any prouder. Wisdom, courage and an inspired conviction will help her pick up where Wendy left off. According to Shauna, “Wendy’s strength after Alex passed on has inspired hundreds of people and my hope is that she is able, through me and others to inspire thousands of people. That’s what my goal is, to inspire thousands of people to care for and protect the people that cannot protect themselves.”

If you would like to know more about the Alex Onkle Financial Support Foundation, look them up at https://www.facebook.com/AlexOnkleFinancialSupportFoundation/posts/522539491169001