Swimming in Quicksand

By Bob Cox

There is an old saying that your greatest enemy is the one staring back at you in the mirror. When it comes to the sensitive subject of self-sabotage, why is it so much easier to see what others do to trip themselves up while missing the blatantly obvious choices we make to screw up our own lives? I know that’s been the case for me. As I was walking my dog The Nut (her full name is Coconut, but her behavior is off-the-wall nutty, so The Nut fits her perfectly), a rare moment of clarity came to me.

Every so often, I feel the desire to enjoy a life that greater financial abundance could create. Most of the time; however, I really am quite content as I enjoy the simple and peaceful tranquility that leisure time brings. Although I do enjoy work most of the time when I’m able to get out of my own way, I really love to sit back and chill more than I would care to admit.

Recently, my wife Diana and I chose to switch TV services. At the time, I had some serious reservations about quality, program selection and cost, but now I laughingly refer to it as one of the three greatest moments of my life, right up there with my wedding day and the birth of my son Bobby.

What is so great about our new service? I have learned how to record all my favorite programs and can now enjoy them any time I want. Also, I get a bit of an adrenaline rush whenever I fast-forward through all the annoying pharmaceutical commercials. I know, I’m a real daredevil . . . what can I say! At any moment, I can sit back with my trusty friend that you probably refer to as a remote control and with it, I can choose from a cornucopia of entertaining shows and sporting events. And when it comes to sports, don’t get me started, as I fast-forward through all the huddles and downtime and get straight to the plays. Watching four games on every glorious Sunday is now possible. I have never felt so much power in my life, which is equal parts intoxicating and pathetic!

So, now imagine that you just finished building the swimming pool of your dreams, complete with beautiful waterfalls, fountains and exotic plants. Would you fill it with quicksand? Of course not, unless you were tempted to find a creative solution to ridding yourself of the growing entourage of annoying and intrusive neighbors who pop by every day with their equally obnoxious kids. Chances are pretty good that you would fill it with clean and sparkling water and then make sure that it stays that way. You would not fill it with quicksand and then be frustrated by how nasty and unpleasant it was every time you cannon-balled of the diving board!

And yet, is not that what most of us do whenever we sabotage our dreams and aspirations? If we choose to take a real good and honest look at ourselves, the answer is almost always an emphatic yes. Is there an area of your life where you’re constantly being confronted by feelings of frustration? Is there someone important in your life that you’re having chronic conflict with? Is your health and vitality deteriorated from where you want it to be? Is your financial situation short of giving you the lifestyle you truly want? If you answered yes to any of these or other unasked questions, then you need to have a serious conversation with your inner guru until you have your own moment of clarity.

Whatever you need to do to quiet your mind and get in touch with the primary cause of your discontent, go for it. For some, it’s meditation. For others, it’s vigorous exercise. Once you do get the real answer to why things are not working out according to plan, ask someone you really trust and respect for their feedback. Chances are good that they will confirm and validate your epiphany. On the other hand, if none of these ideas work for you, you can always come by and take a walk with The Nut. After all, God spelled backwards is dog.